Hello all you lovely drunkards!

:D

The Art of Self Destruction

So far today I've had:

3 Starbucks coffees (when will I stop drinking this vile piss?)
1 Red Bull (makes me talk shit for about an hour)
1 pint Japanese imported beer
1 pint unidentified beer
1 cup Max strength Lemsip

and I have a headache like a needle piercing my brain.

Ouch.

I have a turkey hangover.

At least MY turkey was one hell of a hot babe.

eat, drink and be merry

well, it' official. I'm a homeowner. we closed on our very first house this afternoon.
then, of course, proceeded to get celebratorily drunk.
and by this time tomorrow, my husband and parents and I will be three sheets to the wind and pull of pumpkin pie.

happy thanksgiving
gobble gobble

I like to relax after work.

I've been slowly working my way through this monster bud. I'm about as stoned as a man can be. You could blind me with a piece of dental floss.

crisis!

go to sprizee.blogspot.com
check out 13 November 2004

Yes, that is our little sprizer getting toasted...

at Starbucks.

I'm speechless.

its only 138 but i could use a good drink.

murphy im sure is trying to navigate the mall food court. little aware is she that megan has left yet another surprise in her food bag.

muhahaha :P

You're Beautiful You Bastard

It’s SUnday night, my Friday night, I’m listening to Nick Cave, I’m finishing the chianti and I don’t care, except for you, I always care for you

worker bees can leave
even drones can fly away
the queen is their slave

The Company likes me drunk

Today was another instance in a monthly ritual where my company treats ourselves to beer and snacks. So that means as usual I had to induldge. It sure does make my co-workers more intriguing. I think my productivity actually peaks because I swear I can type like 100 words/minute with a little alcohol in the bloodstream.

Contrary to popular belief, Sprizee, I wasn't wasted. I just had an adequate buzz. Although I just now got sober enough to type and that's why this post is so late in the evening. It's rather fun to IM with friends while adequately buzzed. There's drunk dialing and now there's drunk pinging. It's rather amusing for no one however and could lead to CLMs if you're not careful, Career Limiting Moves.

Woohoo, thanks Sprizee for indulging me this afternoon. The trenchcoated Sprint man is putting his duds back on and walking out the door now. He says hello by the way!

Pre-emptive strike...

No, not drunk right now. Just planning on it, planning for it. 2 Drunks coming up here...first, there will be tonight - I just need to drink tonight and that is all there is to it. Second, Saturday is my little girls 4th bday party (no, I won't be getting drunk for that!) I'll be getting drunk after that! After the party we will be watching the Alabama/Auburn Iron Bowl with some friends and getting DRUNK! That should call for a very nice drunk post! Just wanted to give you all a heads up! Hope you all have some good drunks coming up too!

An Auditor's Dream Equation.

Two Frappucinos + one piece of marble cake + one serving of Ramen noodles (beef flavor) + two beers = Good Night, Martini.

* hiccup *

dayquil addict

I'm not drunk, but I'm heavily medicated.
and that's almost as good.
except for the "feeling like shit" part.
anyone coming to texas with soup?

Saturday Evening Post on Monday

I got lit up like a Christmas tree on Saturday night.
It was great.

Gave some strange guy a mad wood on the dance floor and felt so powerful the rest of the evening. It was fuckin great. :D

See, you just have to get there before 8, no cover, AND 2 for 1 until 9.
So you see, I was drunk before 9:30. Fanfreakintastic!

My night rawked.
Even though my bed didn't. :p

honorary drunk status

it is here by declared that when i do something completely insane and ridiculous
we will just say the baby was drunk
no...that sounds bad...try....
i was drunk on.......
uhhhhhhuuuuuummmm......
decaf hot tea?
anyway
my crying over my toast....qualifies.
you decide what to call it.

1000 am.

I am so not in a mood to do anything work related.

Its one of those need-to-sit-down-with-murphy slash hide-in-her-cube-and-rant slash gab-about-gossip kind of mondays.

Shoot me now.

*sigh*

dear lord... it's 8:36am and I'm so not drunk.
I wish I were.
the best I can do is a serious coffee buzz.
but, we're out of coffeemate....
and I'm totally blaming murphy.

How could this be possible?

I have three beers in my fridge. Just three. F-ing D drank one at 5 in the morning the other day, so I'm left with only three (instead of four).

I'm proceeding to consume the leftover beer, just to spite him, as we speak.

Bottoms up, y'all.

Nuttin' better....

Than a Sunday afternoon drunk, watchingfootballl..... Hell - I don't even know what game I'm watching anymore! Go Team! Yeah, something...whatever. I love Sundays, I love beer on Sundays - that ROCKS! Lovers y'all!

Rocket to Russia

Yes that's right kids, tonite it's the Argentinian Malbec reserve.



I'm so cultured it's obscene.

oh, and another thing....

is it ok if I'm not exactly afraid of getting a spanking? I know we're supposed to be able to "vent our unrepressed souls without fear of retribution or a spanking," but getting a spanking kinda turns me on.
forewarned is fore armed. I'm that kinda girl.

welcome, erica!!

is it pathetic to welcome yourself someplace new? well, it'll have to do since murph isn't quite being the hostess with the mostess.

as for me and my little dog, too, we're hung-over. got bed-head, cotton-mouth, racoon-eyes and too many damn hyphens.

good times, good times.

Tell All Your Friends

If you still have any. I mean you've probably alienated them all by getting drunk and trying to grope them or their partners and then vomited in their garden. Why don't you grow up?

Anyway, I made a little button for ya, which I'm using on my blog and feel free to borrow but please try and host it yourself as I don't want my account eaten or whatever.



So that's three days(?) on the trot I've been drinking and I can't decide whether it's because I'm on holiday and have nothing better to do, or if it's because I love posting on this god damned blog so much and I'm such a rule follower that I can't post sober.

Alls I cans says is, thank the sweet lord and his baby orphans for spellchecker.

Indoor Hydroponic fruit : a study

.


A friend gave me some fruit he grew in his garden and I sampled some when I went out to lunch. Very tasty. Makes my panera taste extra yummy. Relaxing.

Your Daily Whore-o-scope by Johnny:

If your name starts with M then you are wonderin why you arent on your back with a construction worker named Jack Hammer doing some drillin.

If your name starts with K then there's a reason why your nips are perfectly formed -- coz they need to be suctioned hon. muhaha

If you are a libra, gemeni, pisces or your name ends with i or y, some chunky guido is gonna get lucky tonight!

If you can't remember where you are and are missing any articles of clothings, haul your booty down to the clinic for a free testing. Yeah!

Everyone else has a couple of drinks in their future.

Some Days

Some days, being a grown up f-ing rocks my world.

I'm about to sit down and study for my CCSA exam (next Thursday ... fuuuuuck).

I took the day off of work to stay home and study. With a six-pack of Miller Light.

I maintain that the bubbles in the beer speed the information to my brain much more quickly

go to your special place

it's about half eight here i'm listenin to drunk music "she's like heroin to me" i'm in that nice slot between sober and too drunk to blog, it's the ideal matter

the matter that you read you see

i'm only here for the ladies coz someone told me, hey, blog and you will get laid. for me it's all about the badonkadonk.

Piss Drunk by 6PM,

My Life Coach said I should set goals.

Today’s thought:
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest HemingwayUS author & journalist (1899 - 1961)

Drinking On No-Love Thursday:
Well it’s Veteran’s Day and I plan to go to the bars after work and show my scar, with any luck I should get a few free drinks and perhaps lucky (it’s a circumcision scar, but hey I got it when I was in the Army, sadly however I do miss the turtle-neck).

Drinking and the Weather; a Correlation,
What else is one to do in this god-forsaken state? Its flat, its grey, and its cold, and its only going to increase in severity until the end of May.

Drinking you say?
When I was younger we used to go out on days like today and get falling down drunk, perhaps meet some women of questionable virtue and/or get into a fight or two.

Drinking and “Thirtysomethings”:
Things have changed, I don’t start my night at 9 or 10 anymore, hell most nights I am asleep by then, as for those women of questionable virtue; now its more along the lines of “hey fucker that’s my wife, watch what you say”. For the fighting, well these days the guys who want to fight are all in there early 20’s and work out at some gym, and I don’t heal as quickly as I used to. I also gave up rugby for many of the same reasons, that and it sucks to teach a class with two black eyes. Not to mention those criminal charges seems to follow you around long after you have paid your debit to society. But the biggest reason I know things have changed is that now hangovers last 3 days. Yes three days, if you don’t believe me wait till you hit your mid-thirties, you will see what I mean. God, I used to close a bar and be at work the next morning, looking forward to the next night out. Now I would rather someone drag me out on the front yard and shoot me.

Drinking and Medicine:
Drinking has been a factor in my three most recent visits to ER, but don’t worry I am on staff there. But one thing I have learned is that you don’t want to have you name in the paper along with the statement “…alcohol is believed to have been a factor”

The Moral:
Which leaves me with my message, moderation is the key even when hard charging. And if you figure out that balance let me know.

The News:
Friends don’t let friends fire drunkTaking to heart the credo that friends should never let friends drive drunk, a man in Bloomington shot out two tires on his friend’s car to keep him from driving under the influence.Alas, the move backfired when the incensed driver got out of his car, pulled a knife and attacked his friend, according to a report by Bloomington police.Police arrested the driver, David Woodward, 39, of Indianapolis, on a preliminary charge of battery after the fight early Sunday. Woodward could not be reached for comment Monday.Authorities said they expected to file charges within a few days against the other man, after officers found two handguns and an assault-style rifle in his home.

Todays Toast:
"Here's to beefsteak when you're hungry, Whiskey when you're dry, All the girls you ever want, And heaven when you die." as told to me by my dear old grandpa...

Happy VD everyone…

Slainte!

JQP

Im at work.
Drunk.
Drunk on life.

:-O

Question?

Does it count if you post while you are high on life?

I mean it....

Just one more drink and I SWEAR that I'm going to bed then. I really mean it. Yes, I do know what time it is...it's time for this last drink. That's it then, no more. nope.

Johnny, is that you looking in the window? What are you doing out there? Is that drool?

My First Post at Drunkville

*tosses keys to kknockers*

No. Sorry. Not drunk.
I keep telling you to wait until Saturday...okay, Sunday...if I'm not too hungover.
I hope I have some good stories to share with you then.

On Halloween weekend, we got drunker than skunks...and didn't buy more than one drink! Now that is THE BEST kind of drunk!

We had ourselves a sugar daddy!!
Weee!

Poor guy was pitiful...but hey!
Free drinks!!

I can't wait until Saturday...

*evil grin*

hello??

yeah..we all gotta fill in stuck's survey.
so scroll down and do your duty as bloggers.
go on
do it
go ahead...
i need to know....

you are waiting for what??
a personal invitation.
*hands you an envelope*
there you go

oh and to those of you i have never been introduced to before
(because my best girlfriend murphala can sometimes be rude and bitchy..uhhummm...)
HI!!!
my name is
well.....hhhmm....
SN
standing naked
used to be kb...r (but we don't say that anymore...ssshh...) instead murph refers to me as....
ktitties
kboobs
k(anything - is what i am told is her rule of thumb)

so there...with the formalities done and over with...
HAND OVER YOUR KEYS!!!
i am your designated driver.
[recently murph got me pregnant]

Mmmm. Beer.

I * heart * Bar Louie. It's a supa-fly joint.

Today's math. 20 financial geniuses + corporate cards = 20 very drunk financial geniuses.

It's cold here. Someone come warm me up already.

Please... Kill Me

Can I post hungover? I guess so...

Woo Hoo!

I'm here! No, I'm not drunk yet it's 8:06 am here, but I'm looking for my cough syrup here in my desk and that'll give me a HUGE buzz and I can post like that. That counts doesn't it? Good...I'll be back when I find the cough syrup....where did I put that?

Hillary and I made it last night. ;-)

She was ...mmm ... magnifique.

Tonight she's dumping me for rock though. pffft.

Waxing Poetic

so......
am i the permanent
DESIGNATED DRIVER
or what??

hello there...

i'm not really drunk, hell, i don't even really drink, but hey, i'm here...

The Solution to All Our Problems

Remember kids, people who tell you to drink in moderation are liars and communists. Drinking can drastically improve your social skills, not to mention increase the attractiveness of those members of the opposite sex who blunder into your immediate vicinity.



"Lechery, it provokes, and unprovokes: it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance." - Macbeth Act II Scene III

Okay, I tried to get some beer from the keg but Murphy was passed out over it.

"Wild On" Wednesday Night.

OK, try this again. I swear that I'm not this f-ing stupid. Control-A selects all. Control-C copies it. Control-V pastes it. GOD DAMN IT, that's what I forgot ... Control-V.

Anyhow, tomorrow night's festivities will involve The Usual Crew from TheFirm. Starting the evening of old-school belligerence and debauchery at Bar Louie (there's a big surprise). The equation goes a little somethin' like dis:

1 very hot Martini-Drinking Senior Analyst (that's me, you smart asses) + 4 AVPs + 1 VP + 1 SVP = good times, good times.

Expect drunk-dials a-plenty. OOOH A.D.D.-raddled thought ... off to set up AudioBlogger so I can share with y'all.